Sick and Tired

I don’t know about you, but I have never understood the difference between allergies and being sick. Yeah, I mean I get that they are different things, but I feel just as bad either way, so when people ask, “What’s wrong? You don’t look so good.” I just say “It’s allergies” and move on. Who knows if it actually is or not. 

Regardless of if I am recovering from a cold, or it’s just the change of the season, I feel like crap and I can’t seem to get enough sleep. Which, for me, marks the official end of the summer vibes; enter in the fall season. 

You guys, I LOVE fall. I love chilly weather that is cool enough to wear an oversized sweater, but warm enough that you don’t need a coat. I love surrounding a bonfire with friends, telling stories, and singing songs. I love hot apple cider, mulled wine, and various spices (yes, that includes Pumpkin Spice). I love the changing of the leaves, and celebrating Harper’s “Gotcha” Day. It is a special time of the year. 

However, this year, I am approaching Fall with a bit of apprehension. Maybe it is because of my stage in life, or maybe it is because of the late start to summer here in the Chicago-land area, but I don’t want summer to leave just yet. I had all of these plans and they disappeared into thin air and time. 

I’m finding myself exhausted, more than usual. I had an interesting conversation with some friends last week, talking about introversion and extroversion. If you know me at all, you know what an extreme extrovert I am. I thought that because of my outgoing nature and the fact that I never really stop talking, that I was an extrovert, but it never crossed my mind that I actually got energy from other people. 

In the interim between ministry positions, I have been given a position that I am insanely grateful for in an office. Primarily my work revolves around numbers and files, all done sitting at a desk with a computer. I can’t begin to tell you how depleted I am when I get home. I might say a handful of sentences during the day, occasionally say “Hi” to some co-workers, or ask a few questions,  but my interactions with others is significantly minimized from what I am used to. I had no idea that it would literally suck all of my energy from me during the day. 

I guess with this season approaching, I have more questions than answers. Am I where I need to be? Am I who I want to be? Am I doing what I should be doing? 

With all of those questions in my head, I am starting to nest in my spot. I am writing more, speaking more, crafting more. Let’s see how long I can keep this apartment clean and focused on new habits instead of sinking into bed as my automatic. 

This week, what are your new habits you want to start?