6 Love Languages: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Giving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Chucking Snickers Bars
I don’t know what it is about being sick that makes me automatically curl up on the couch and watch terrible daytime T.V. but that is what I find myself doing today. It has been amusing to me over the years how this automatic response to a stuffed nose, plugged ears, sore throat, and swollen eyes that has me nostalgically make me watch to call my mom to bring me treats that I won’t be able to taste and extra blankets, even though I am sweating like crazy.
When I woke up at 4:30 this morning, after finally going in and out of restless sleep starting around midnight, I finally figured sleep wasn’t going happen, so to the couch I went and waited for my favorite local breakfast place opened. After countless episodes of Psych, downing Throat Coat, and Day Quill, I bundled up and went to go pick up my breakfast, a small perk for being sick.
On my way back, I started thinking of random times and unusual circumstances I have gotten sick. The one that has stuck out in my mind the most is when we all contracted “The Plague” in Bulgaria. Sparing you all of the details, “The Plague” manifested itself in different forms for all of us. At one point I honestly thought I might have been dying. Ever seen that episode of Parks and Recreation where Ben, Ron, and Chris get food poisoning? Think that but extended for days instead of hours.
Nearing the tail end of this infamous bug, when we finally decided to chance eating again, all I wanted was eggs and peanut butter toast. Don’t ask me why, but it was the only thing that sounded good. Of course, B-Sue being the “Mama” that she is, offered to make it for us…she mildly suggested Nutella toast, but I insisted on peanut butter toast, completely forgetting her severe allergies to nuts. Whoops. Served alongside the deadly toast was the saltiest eggs I have ever tasted in my life, made by The Gabe Hillman. I’ll never forget Melissa telling Gabe they were inedible and not everyone likes as much salt as he does. I ate it anyway.
It is funny how quickly these memories come flooding back randomly, especially when you thought you were on death row going through it. I can’t help but smile and laugh at these memories. Living with this crew for that entire summer taught me a lot of how people express love in the most random ways, ranging from chucking Snickers Bars at one another to risking anaphylaxis to make sure we were taken care of.
The question is, for you, what small and random ways have you recognized love from others surrounding you? Together we will look into these different ways God loves us in the most random ways through those around us.
The Five Love Languages have been something that has been broadcasted in classrooms, from pulpits, and counseling centers. Physical touch, acts of service, intentional time, words of affirmation, and the giving of gifts has become categories we identify as ways we either give love, or receive love.
My first time hearing about these love languages, I saw myself and those I interact with in these hazy daydream sequences, gentle laughter, coffee, and flowers. I thought that if this ideal world I had created in my head was the only way I could give or receive love, then I wasn’t doing it right (and neither were the people around me).
Quickly I found out that identifying love in myself to give and this love others were trying to give me, didn’t come in the pretty package I assumed it would in my “Christianese” mindset.
I mentioned the chucking of Snickers bars previously. I can’t take credit or make that up.
Gabe Hillman is an amazing friend, husband, and father that I had the privilege of learning from in the summer of 2012.
Upon arrival in Bulgaria, I was exhausted from jet lag and perked up instantly when I saw that there was a Starbucks.
A Starbucks in a foreign country to me was like finding the Holy Grail. Gabe walked with me to get my coffee and then offered to pay for it. Me, being the stubborn person that I am, refused to let him pay for it. Finally Gabe relented, but then said to me, “if someone is trying to do something for you, in the future, let them…or it’s like you are refusing or throwing their love back in their face.” Yikes. The last thing I thought I was doing was throwing out Gabe’s love…this man I had just met, whose family had been praying for my arrival for almost 6 months…was so excited to give me something to start feeling more comfortable in their country and I refused it.
Needless to say, I didn’t refuse free coffee from Gabe after that.
Right after this encounter, Gabe took us all to a place to pick out our favorite candy bars. The last thing I wanted was candy at this point, but I appeased him by picking out a Snickers bar, as did Hunter and Tyler. B-Sue picked out a Twix.
Little did we realize that while we were meandering about, trying not to fall asleep in the aisles, Gabe ran off and we met him back at the van.
About halfway through the summer, I realized that Gabe’s proficiency of throwing things at us had significantly increased, both in accuracy and frequency. When I wasn’t looking, I would get pelted in the head with a Snickers bar, as would Tyler and Hunter (but B-Sue would be pelted with a Twix). One day I found, in the back of the Hillman’s pantry cabinet, cases and cases or Snickers and Twix Bars.
Melissa had always told me Gabe loved very deeply and showed it very uniquely. I finally figured it out. Anytime Gabe wanted to let us know he loved us and appreciated us, we would have our favorite candy bars thrown at our heads, only to look up to see Gabe running around the corner.
“if someone is trying to do something for you, in the future, let them…or it’s like you are refusing or throwing their love back in their face.”
This, my friends, is love that I never would have expected or recognized if Melissa hadn’t pointed it out. It wasn’t a love in a hazy coffee and flower picture in my head, but something unexpected, thrown together, and wrapped in your favorite comic strips and pictures you share with one another. Something between only the two of you. Something unforgettable. Friends, do not allow yourself to be narrow minded into things love can only present itself in one way. Instead look closely and openly to the love God shows to us through anyone and everyone we encounter. It is there, I promise. You just gotta recognize it.
